One day …as the door slammed,I knew… my sister got mad at me because I beat her in a video game call wwe 2k 17 and I started to laugh so hard I all most die she was so mad she was trying to break things in her room so I told my mom that she was trying to breaking like her lap and tablet so my mom hit her right on her butt with her left hand and started to cried for ten min and I want to her room and started to laugh at her and I left fast.
Nathan,
You used first person and incorporated the six-word phrase well. You do need to work on adding punctuation as you have no end marks. This is something we’ve been working on in class and I need to see that you are learning this. Also, what is the vocabulary word you included?
Mrs. H